Download the Libretto for Ipod
To use - Unzip the file, copy the seven files that open into the Notes folder on your ipod.
When you want to read them on your ipod go to Extras, then Notes.
Sample MP3 tracks:
"Red Hot Symbiogenesis Jam" by El Plan de Aguavodka
"The Spontaneous Fracturing of Heavy Metal" by the Painful Leg Injuries
"Socialism Supersedes Scientific Rigour" by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
Men In White Coats Libretto
1. Rapture Of The Deep: L'ivresse Des Grandes Profondeurs
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
Nitrogen Narcosis is a condition that effects scuba divers at great depths where nitrogen inhaled begins to effect the brain similarly to nitrus oxide. The effect is similar to the effect of alcohol and divers suffering from nitrogen narcosis may put themselves at risk by doing stupid things such as offering their regulator or mouthpiece to a fish. This condition is also called ÒLÕivresse des grandes profondeursÓ or rapture of the deep. See also: HenryÕs Law, Dysbarism.
2. The Spontaneous Fracturing of Heavy Metal
by the Painful Leg Injuries
Piecing shards of plinked metal fractures a heavy metal song. Hutchison claimed that while trying to recreate experiments done by Nikola Tesla, he discovered a number of strange phenomena, including the spontaneous fracturing of metal. I went for fractures in the other Tesla. Guitars, sensor lab, slide whistle, cello, and tympani.
3. An Asteroid Killed The Dinosaurs But It's Alright
by El Plan De Aguavodka
Physicist Luis Alvarez and his geologist son Walter Alvarez discovered high iridium concentrations in sediment from the time of the the dinosaurs' extinction. They proposed that the iridium came from an asteroid and that the asteroid killed the dinosaurs--which is alright because Dinosaurs would have enjoyed eating us.
4. A Church Hymn About The Simplicity Of E.Coli
by the Painful Leg Injuries
Proponents of Intelligent Design like to use E.Coli as an example of a biological system that is too complex to be explained by the theory of evolution. I found photos of E.Coli converted them into MIDI data, chose church organs as the instruments to play back this data and added some of my own embellishments. There you go, complexity, explained with little difficulty.
5. The Nonexistence Of N-Rays
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
RenÎ-Prosper Blondlot was a French physicist, best remembered for his mistaken identification of N-rays, a phenomenon that subsequently proved to be illusory.
6. The Short Happy Life of Daisyworld
by El Plan De Aguavodka
James Lovelock and Andrew Crick came up with the Daisyworld model to illustrate that it was possible for organisms to regulate their environment without invoking teleology. The model consisted of a world inhabited only by black and white daisies with the ability to reflect or absorb the sun's radiation. The flowers manage to regulate the temperature by natural selection until the sun gets too hot and everything dies. The model is a simplified version of Lovelock's Gaia Hypothesis. Competing itunes playlists: black keys, white keys
7. Socialism Supersedes Scientific Rigour
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
Lysenkoism is named after Trofim Lysenko and refers to a period of Soviet science in which political ideas superseded scientific rigour. Lysenko was an influential political figure, but his ideas were devoid of scientific merit; many scientists of the time were forced into publicly recanting politically unacceptable ideas such as genetics and heredity (those that refused were imprisoned or executed). Once again, there was no pathology involved in the legitimate scientific community. Rather, it was imposed upon by the political system.
8. The Timecube Cubed
by the Painful Leg Injuries
Gene Ray developed the Theory of the Time cube which states that time is cubic. Ray believes that there are four simultaneous 24-hour days in one rotation of the earth. Ray came to this based on his observation that the earth is not one singular 360 degree circle, rather four 90 degree quadrants. He further states that singularity is the source of evil. The didgeridoo is an instrument often associated with time, so I layered four different performances of my homemade didgeridoo with four different digitally rendered cubes converted into MIDI data.
9. Reflex Anal Dilatation (RAD)
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
Reflex anal dilatation (RAD) was a clinical procedure developed by Dr. Bruce Woodling, which would allegedly provide an indisputable diagnostic indication of child sexual abuse. Also known as the anal wink test, RAD is a controversial and now largely discredited technique which at one time was widely used. RAD involves parting the buttocks of the patient and observing the anus over a period of about thirty seconds to a minute. The anus will reflexively close. Gradually the outer and inner sphincters will relax, which in many people will cause the anus to gape open. RAD was heralded as a new diagnostic technique for detecting anal sexual abuse in children, as studies appeared to indicate that the gaping effect occurred only where abuse had taken place. Non-abused children did not exhibit the gaping effect, according to studies. Unfortunately, later studies found these results to be highly unreliable, but not before its veracity as a technique was assumed by some examining doctors. Some of these doctors were called upon as expert witnesses in a number of sexual abuse trials, and it is this that led to the Cleveland scandal in which allegations of child sexual abuse were being made by Marietta Higgs, a pediatrician at a Middlesbrough hospital. In 1987, using this technique she diagnosed 121 children as victims of sexual abuse. Once the allegations had been made, social workers were compelled by law to remove the children from their families and place them in foster care. Later, a public inquiry led to 96 of the 121 cases being dismissed by the courts. Dr. Woodling himself testified in the McMartin Preschool child abuse case, which led Ray Buckley to spend five years in remand prison. Buckley was later released without conviction.
10. Let The Fast Air Caress The Gentle Curve
by El Plan De Aguavodka
The Bernoulli Principle indicates that with increase of velocity a gas causes a falls in pressure. The curved shape of the airplane wings works on this principle, causing the air above to accelerate and create lift.
11. Blame It On The Orgones
by the Painful Leg Injuries
Wilhelm Reich following Freud's ideas on sexual potency and mental disorder attempted to "measure" the male orgasm. At the moment of orgasm, he believed the force that he measured was a form of energy that is present in all life forms, "orgones". Photos of various life forms, cells, and erections converted to MIDI data, microscopic elements of composition added as necessary to find the orgones. Reich was disliked in the same degree among the FDA and the Nazis.
12. Red Hot Symbiogenesis Jam
by El Plan De Aguavodka
Lynn Margulis proposed that symbiosis is a primary force in evolution and that eukaryotic cells arose from the co-existence of multiple prokaryotic organisms. The theory throws some peace and harmony into the cold competitive world of evolutionary biology. Awkward proto-jazz for clarinet, rubberbands, and windup toys.
13. Florence Nightingale Viewed The Evening Air With Disregard
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
The Miasmic Theory of Disease is an archaic theory that held that diseases such as cholera or the Black Plague were caused by a miasma, a noxious form of "bad air". Zymotic Theory lent to a general fear that cold or cool air spread disease. Many people and especially the weak or infirm avoided breathing night air by going indoors and keeping windows and doors shut.
14. Return To The Birth Of The Within
by El Plan De Aguavodka
"In a coherent perspective of the world: Life inevitably assumes a 'pre-life' for as far back before it as the eye can see." Pierre Teilhard de Chardin was a scientist, a philosopher, and a Jesuit priest. In 1929 he took part in the discovery of Peking Man Sinanthropus pekinensis. His numerous writing seek to explain the evolution of the mind/soul/"the within." He coined the term Noogenesis which is the process of the earth "clothing itself in a mind." Will we be able to download music and share dirty pictures on the noosphere?
15. Oh No, No, It's Not Magic
by the Painful Leg Injuries
The four basic elements of alchemy, fire, water, air and earth make up every alchemical process. So, under experimental conditions I played mad scientist, I recorded a lighter producing a flame, swishing water, I blew into my microphone and closely mic'd a potted plant as I rubbed the dirt. As with any wizard, I'm trying to make magic, in this case sans white tiger, however Europe's "The Final Countdown" is playing.
16. Your Iris Says Otherwise
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
Iridology, also known as iridodiagnosis, is an alternative medicine practice in which patterns, colors, and other characteristics of the iris are examined for information about a patient's systemic health. Practitioners match their observations to iris charts which divide the iris into many zones believed to correspond to specific parts of the human body.
17. Unexplainable Watches That Make Themselves
by the Painful Leg Injuries
Is the existence of watch the proof of the existence of the watchmaker? Monotheists have suggested: "if we find a watch on a heath, it is too complex to have appeared there by natural process so they assume that there must be a watchmaker responsible for its creation". However are things ever this simple? Cello playing two A notes at once, layered at variable pitches to create mysterious overtones.
18. Spontaneous Human Combustion
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
Spontaneous human combustion, or De Incendiis Corporis Humani Spontaneis, is the alleged process of a human body catching fire as a result of heat generated by internal chemical or nuclear action. One theory explaining this phenomenon was Larry Arnold's Theory that sometimes human cells are hiby a mysterious particle, a pyrotron, that causes a nuclear chain reaction inside a person's body. Unfortunately, this theory is based largely on speculation and ignorance of cellular life. Other theories explaining this phenomenon are spontaneous nuclear fusion, maser (microwave amplification by stimulated emission of radiation) induction, geomagnetism, kundalini (a form of yoga/mystic body heating), and the wick effect, which proposes that hydrogen and oxygen remain as gasses in human cells and are thus highly ignitable.
19. Continents Passing In The Night
by El Plan De Aguavodka
The continents were once very close together but over time they grew apart. They still get together sometimes for some heavy duty subduction. Field Recording of crumpled maps slowly unfolding.
20. Viruses Of The Mind
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
The discovery of Ayalon Cave by researchers in Israel yielded eight previously unknown species living in an isolated ecosystem for millions of years, all of which having evolved in such a way as to have rid themselves of eyes and pigmentation in the pitch blackness. See also: Darwinian Evolutionary Theory, Abiogenesis
21. This Is Clearly the Handwriting of Your Average Twenty-Nine And A Half Year Old Caucasian Male
by the Painful Leg Injuries
Graphology is the study of handwriting to determine if you are bipolar or worse. My hadwriting has been particularly described by many catholic school educators as "chicken scratch" and "illegible". Audio waveforms drawn by me writing in cursive on sine waves.
22. Because The Dogs Ate The Bells
by El Plan De Aguavodka
It is popularly believed that Pavlov used a bell to signal the arrival of food in his famous behavioral experiments. No bell has ever been found among his possessions. Perhaps the dog ate it. 23. The Tree Prairfrogeal Quintet
by the Painful Leg Injuries
An imaginary jazz band is lead by this Cryptozoogical creature. Trumpet, MIDI instruments, animal samples.
24. Hypothesis: The Francis Bacons of the Future Will Die Freezing Robotic Chickens
by El Plan De Aguavodka
In 1626 Francis Bacon purchased a chicken with the intention of preserving it with snow. While performing his experiment he caught pneumonia. Within a month he was dead. Besides giving us frozen food, Francis Bacon left us the Scientific Method.
25. These Perpetual Motion Machines Are Always Busy
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
The perpetual Motion Machines -- Perpetual motion machines are a class of hypothetical machines which would produce useful energy in a way which would violate the established laws of physics. No genuine perpetual motion machine currently exists, and according to certain fundamental laws in physics they cannot exist. Specifically, perpetual motion machines would violate either the first or second laws of thermodynamics. Some hypothetical designs of perpetual motion machines are Bhaskara's wheel, Maxwell's demon, Feynman's "Brownian ratchet", Cosmic background space drive, and the Perpetuum Mobile of Villard de Honnecourt.
26. Floating Apples (Falling Discs)
by the Painful Leg Injuries
Anachronistic grudge match between two rivals (potentially). Newton discovered gravity by observing apples. Searl discovered Anti-Gravity by making a floating disc. Recorded sound of falling apples edited to suspend them, recorded sounds of discs falling on their own.
27. After 10 Million Years In An Isolated Ecosystem Everyone Evolves Into A Scorpion
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
28. A Lamb of Science Shall Take Away Our Sleepless Nights
by El Plan De Aguavodka
Dolly the sheep was the first mammal to be cloned from an adult cell. I'm not sure what good this does. Insomniacs have been cloning sheep for ages. Composition for recorder and toy guitar.
29. The Laws Of Thermodynamics Are Obeyed In This House
by the Painful Leg Injuries
Perpetual Motion Machines are impossible due to entropy. Music circles and swirls like a perpetual motion machine, however when individual samples are edited and duplicated so there are sudden stops.
30. This Place Makes My Eyeballs Shiver
by El Plan De Aguavodka
Vic Tandy thought his lab was haunted until he realized that low frequency sounds were causing his eyeballs to resonate and his mind to hallucinate. Animals use infrasound to communicate. Vladamir Gavreau used the same principles to create sonic weapons in the 50's. I say we make empty threats of violence.
31. Von Liebig's Blood Generation
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
German chemist Baron Justus von Liebig, the father of modern fertilizer, developed a theory seeking to explain infectious diseases, which pointed to the spontaneous generation of disease within the blood. Essentially, alleging the view that blood ferments in his Blood Generation Theory. This theory was essentially chemical, and as such, denied contagion. The Blood Generation Theory received negligible support in England.
32. My Binary Chiromanic Data
by the Painful Leg Injuries
Chiromancy is basically the art of fortune telling via palm reading. Digital photos of my palms turned into MIDI data.
33. Frog Legs on a Treadmill Will Power the World
by El Plan De Aguavodka
Galvani is famous for experiments involving electricity and reanimated frogs legs. He believed that an electrical fluid was held within the muscles of living creatures and coined the term "animal electricity." I would love to power my electronics with amphibian legs.
34. The Miracle of Psychic Surgery
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
Psychic surgery is allegedly a paranormal surgical procedure, practiced chiefly in the Philippines and Brazil. It is performed by self-styled psychic doctors or psychic surgeons, who claim and are reported to extract "tumors" or other presumed pathological objects (pus, bones, and so on) from the patient's body through a bloody but painless and invisible "incision", often made with bare hands and without the use of antiseptics or anesthetics. Psychic Surgery -- Psychic surgeons often claim special magical or paranormal abilities. Practitioner Leony Romero claims an innate ability to "raise the vibration" of his hands so that they can pass through the patient's tissues, and turn "diseased energy" into physical matter.
35. My Binary Phrenological Data
by the Painful Leg Injuries
Phrenology is the study of one's head to discover personality traits. I have had these sores on my scalp for years and their meaning could be frightening. Selsun Blue has been no help. Digital photos of my scalp translated into MIDI data.
36. Alan Turing Sends Me Spam From A Closet In Heaven
by El Plan De Aguavodka
Alan Turing created the concept of the turing test to measure whether a computer was intelligent. A computer is considered intelligent if a human observer cannot distinguish it from a real person. Automated spam often fails the Turing test because it sounds too good to be true. A truly intelligent computer will be somewhat disagreeable and will probably not have a webcam.
37. Trepanation Without Trepidation
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
Trepanation (also known as trepanning, trephination, trephining or burr hole) is a form of surgery in which a hole is drilled or scraped into the skull, thus exposing the dura mater in order to treat health problems related to intracranial diseases, though in the modern era it is used only to treat epidural and subdural hematomas. Trepanation has been carried out for both medical reasons and mystical practices for a long time: Evidence of trepanation has been found in prehistoric human remains from Neolithic times onwards, per cave paintings indicating that people believed the practice would cure epileptic seizures, migraines, and mental disorders. Furthermore, Hippocrates gave specific directions on the procedure from its evolution through the Greek age.
38. Venus Williams Relies On Frequencies from the Mars Effect
by the Painful Leg Injuries
For a moment believe that there is some greater significance to sporting greats Muhammad Ali, Tiger Woods, Venus Williams and Babe Ruth being born when the planet, Mars was occupying the fourth quadrant. The frequencies shooting of Mars did not behave as predicted. Data and MIDI interpretations of various graphs of light frequencies given off by the red planet. Moment over.
39. The Thames Remembers Mr. Handel Still
by El Plan De Aguavodka
Water Memory is the theory, basic to homeopathy, that water can retain "memory" of a solute even in high-dilution scenarios where the particles may no longer be present. The late Dr. James Benveniste claimed that water is capable of carrying molecular information and that it is even possible to record and transfer this information. In this piece misused noise removal plug-ins remove Handel's Water Music from pristine white noise.
40. 2+2 Does Not Always Have to Equal Four
by the Painful Leg Injuries
...in art, as one of first design teachers I studied under once said. Though it was not long before he was working at a local restuarant, he changed my life. Text data of pseudomathmatic equations of what 2+2 can equal converted in sound.
41. Once Ancient Astronauts
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
The Ancient Astronaut Theory -- Ancient astronaut theory is a term used to describe the theories of ancient extraterrestrial contact being involved in some way with the origin or development of human culture. Most notably popularized by authors such as Erich von Daeniken and Zecharia Sitchin, this theory is an expansion or elaboration of the more basic Paleocontact theory.
42. ...If We Heard Turtle Shells We'd Regress Further In Our Pieces...
by the Painful Leg Injuries
Infinite Regression belief is that our earth is sitting on the back of a turtle. Stephen Hawking begins his book "A Brief History of Time" with the question "What are the turtles standing on?" and the answer from an old woman is "turtles all the way down". What this has to with the Minutemen is your call. Cello scales, tympani, and other sounds pitch shifting all the way down.
43. When Bad Things Happen To Good Cells
by El Plan De Aguavodka
Programmed Cell Death (PCD) is the process by which cells self destruct in multicellular organisms allowing for differentiation and other lovely things. Mitochondiria, the legacy of symbiogenesis, play a primary role in triggering PCD. All friendships have their end, this one ends with an unfortunate clarinet duet.
44. De Revolutionibus
by the Unevenness of the Moon's Surface
In astronomy, heliocentrism is the theory that the Sun is at the center of the Universe and/or the Solar System -- Aristarchus' heliocentric model/ Aryabhata's Aryabhatiya /Ptolemy/Archimedes' The Sand Reckoner/Copernicus' De Revolutionibus/ Aristarchus of Samos/Tychonic system (or Tychonian system)/Gecentric vs. Heliocentric Solar System/early astronomy
45. Celestial Drive-By
by El Plan De Aguavodka
Doppler effect is responsible for shifts in frequency as sound sources approach and move away. The same principle works on the light emitted from stars. My stars are out to get me.